Rant3

26. I think we all have severely repressed Tourette syndrome . . .; . . . okay, maybe it’s just me.

27. My friend Pat used to break everything he touched and now he’s world-renowned oncologist. I guess people are hoping he’ll break cancer.

28. I think that if Morpheus had offered me the red or blue pill I would have snatched them both from his hand and taken them at the same time just to see what happened. I like to have more than two choices.

29. I always ate the red Smarties last because I didn’t like the taste, not because I was saving them. Saving the best for last isn’t a good idea because you might have an aneurism or something.

30. I voted Conservative once to get the Social Credit out of office. That’s like hiring a pedophile to whack an Irish priest.

31. I used to think babies came out of their mothers’ tummies trough the belly button – like puffballs but all in one piece rather than atomized like puffballs do it.

32. I used to ride the bus home from the University and fall asleep on the way. One day I woke up with my head on an old lady’s shoulder. She’s probably dead now . . . but it wasn’t my fault.

33. I wonder if homeless people have a hierarchy of shopping carts like, “Hey, did you notice the new Sobey’s that Lloyd’s been pushing? Who’s he trying to impress?” "I don't know but I sure love that new cart smell."

34. I don’t know why networks want to capture the late night talk show crowd. Most of that viewing audience are asleep when the stores are open.