75. I saw a commercial on television the other day. It was for an antidepressant. The entire 60 second slot had a voice-over that described the various side-effects of the drug. The word ‘death’ came up more than once as a distinct possibility. I smirked all the way through so I guess the stuff really works.
76. I’m glad that the father of my country wasn’t an axe wielding eco-terrorist.
77. It's amazing how deceptively relaxed people look in coffee shops, sipping their java and giving not the slightest inkling of the quivering, hair-trigger synapses that tremble beneath the surface. With all that caffeine I’m sure that dropping a hint would be enough to result in people having to be picked off the ceiling.
78. Why are Americans supposed to remember the Alamo? Didn’t they get even with Mexico a long time ago?
79. The term ‘mechanically de-boned chicken’ has always bothered me. I think it’s the ‘mechanically’ part. It conjures up images of medieval torture chambers. For chickens.
80. Some people feed baby mice to lizards. Apart from being disgusting, isn’t that a betrayal of your fellow mammals?
81. Do people forget they have Alzheimer’s?
82. Roland Nordman asked to leave the room in our Grade 11 English class. We didn’t notice the fire he’d set in his desk until he’d left the room. How do you translate that into future career opportunities?
83. When I was two I nearly drowned in a farmer’s cesspool. Now I live in Alberta. Talk about foreshadowing.
84. The Alberta Government should promote the Tar Sands’ sludge ponds as a future tourist attraction and treasure trove for paleontologists. In a thousand years they could become Canada’s answer to the Labrea Tarpits.
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